What exceptional identity looks like

The answer to the question on what true identity is, remains elusive.  No matter how many articles you read, how many conversations, seminars, sermons or opinions you hear.  What true identity really is about, remains a mystery.

Now, this article does not aim to give you the answer you have been looking for.  I am simply becoming a part of the conversation and voicing my opinion and experience.  So, lets jump right into it.  What is identity?

When you type “Identity” into google, the first couple of links that jump out at you, are those linked to the clothing store.  I really find this quite fascinating because, truth be told, that is exactly what society has turned it into:  Your identity lies in what you wear.  How do you compete with that?

If you have teenagers, or have ever worked with them, you will know this to be true.  I am what I wear.  I know at the very core of this assumed truth, lies the essential question:  “Who am I?”  Understandably, this is one of the biggest questions and struggles teenagers trump through.  And honestly we need to have grace with them and with the process.  {More on this in my article:  How to love my teenager}  What saddens my heart though is to see a grown woman still struggling through the pain of trying to understand who she is…

I don’t even want to get into the instability this causes in her marriage or in her children.  I want to get to the confusion this causes within her own heart.

Accepting who I am

For the longest time I have always wanted to be more than what I am.  Let me explain:  I know that I am creative, mostly so with coming up with new ideas so often that it literally drives me crazy sometimes!  But, I have always wanted to be more creative, in more than one way.  And not just that, I’ve wanted to be the best at it!

Now, something you have to know about me is that I have always had a very strong drive to accomplish things and to do it to the best of my ability.  I’m not saying that it is wrong to want to be the best in what you do, but my problem was that it became my sole focus.  So much so, that I completely lost sight of the creativity that I had, in my quest to be better than those around me.  See, their creative expression was not mine, so I could never be better than them at what they do, I could just be the best at what I do, in the way that I express myself creatively.  I just had to accept myself, my identity, the way it was.  Could it be as easy as that?

Finding Peace

Realising what the problem was didn’t just take the desire to be the best, away overnight.  No, it really took some time to figure out why this nagging feeling of always wanting to do more, to be more, would just not leave me alone.

Through various conversations with really close friends and lots of praying and crying before the Lord, I realised what was missing.  I could not accept that who He created me to be, was enough…was exceptional.  I had to go on a journey of discovering who He truly made me, what He expected of me, what I expected of me and how it all came together.  Now let me tell you, it’s really tough to face yourself and be real and get to the bottom of who you are.  But, it is SO rewarding when you go through the process of discovering your true identity.

To be able to look at yourself in the mirror and admit, out loud, “this is who I am; this is what I am about; this is why I am exceptional”, is truly a great feeling.  And, to come to a point where you can fully embrace that, that is where you find peace.

So, I’ll end off by saying this.  True identity lies in who God created you to be.  He has such a unique and exceptional purpose and plan for your life and you will never be able to attain that, if you keep fighting with who you are.  Acceptance lies in the ability to come to peace with everything you are (weird, wacky, calm, a nerd, quiet, collected, expressive, not expressive…the list goes on and on).

We all struggle with this and everyone’s journey is so different.  I would love to hear about yours.


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