It’s two days before my baby’s due date. I sit in front of my computer and stare at the blank screen… It’s not that I don’t have anything to say, but rather that I have too much to say. Where do I start? Am I ready for this?
There has always been a part of me that wanted to be a mom. I know that not all women feel that way, but I can assure you that God has definitely instilled a nurturing nature in us girls – whether you want to acknowledge it or not. So, as I sit and think back to the past, I see small traces of this “mother-instinct” which has developed over the years.
A sensitive ear to a friend in need, a kind word when it is needed, absolute silence as you listen and take in the pain and hardships a friend is sharing, giving a hug when it’s needed, making a cup of coffee or a home-cooked meal while someone just unpacks built-up frustration or despair… All of these acts, shape and form our mother-hearts. It prepares us to know when to speak and when to keep silent, when to reprimand and when to give a hug. And, mostly, it molds us to learn to have patience…
So, as I consider these things, I know that even though I might not feel completely ready for another little baby in our family, the Lord has long since prepared my very being for it. And, true to His word, I am sure of this promise:
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.”
He will not forsake me.
I love being a mom to my sweet little two-year-old girl! She is such a joy and such a challenge at exactly the same time! I love how observant she is and how quickly she is picking up on literally everything my husband and I are doing. (Mom’s watch what you do and say, ’cause they will imitate you to the tee!) But I love it!
Our family is in such a natural groove and rhythm right now. She is such a great communicator – which I am truly grateful for and we’ve really found a natural pace of living life as a family. I guess what I’m saying is that I just really love where we are right now and I cannot, for the life of me, imagine what it would be like to add another little person to this rhythm.
Will she be able to fall into the rhythm of our lives as easily? Will she eat well, sleep well, be as adaptable? I’ve prayed that she would, but honestly, I just don’t know what to expect. I guess in a way I felt the same at the end of my first pregnancy – although I had far fewer concerns than I have now.
When I think about the road ahead, I think about how things will change, but I also think about how it will add to our lives. I think about the new and creative dynamic of our family structure and I’m excited for what is to come. I realise that things will never be the same again and, although it frightens me a bit, I also rejoice in it.
The Next Step
Surprize! She decided to come two days early. So, whether or not I was ready for this journey of living life with two little girls, it’s here. I am so looking forward to seeing what this adventure holds. To rediscover life through their eyes, and to see what God has install for them. I just hope and pray that I will be able to guide them and model a true woman of God to them.
The next step?
- Embrace every moment and every day for what it is.
- Do not live in the future, but rather in the now.
- Love as well as I can.